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You Kill It . . . We Grill It
by Eunice's Teller of  Tale Tales, Glenn Elliott

Mama never wanted to get into the restaurant business. The hours are long, the work hard, and the financial rewards small. So we tried to think of shortcuts that could make the business more palatable. That's when we came up with the idea for the Road Kill Cafe.  The concept was simple: You Kill It..We Grill It.

A choice location was necessary. One that was handy to road traffic, with easy access and egress. We decided the "Y" was the ideal location. Motorists along the Hobbs to Jal corridor would have a handy and fast culinary experience in a kind of bring your own concept.

The Roadkill Cafe had only 4 stools, and soon we had to expand, eventually to inlude take out and a drive-through window.
Our menu was simple. We had Canine Cuisine including Cutlet of Coyote and Snipt Whippet. Later we featured a Late Night Delight called Rack of Racoon, Smear of Deer, Antelope Surprise, and something known as Road Pizza. All were instant success, and we were thinking franchising.

We promoted the idea that eating is more fun when you know it was hit on the run. Favorites like State Line Bovine which taste real good straight from the hood. Another was chicken that didn't cross the road.   Specials were offered on certain days. Mondays we had Chunk of Skunk; Tuesdays Splat of Rat; Wednesdays Shake and Bake Rattlesnake; Thursdays
Rigor Mortise Tortise; and Fridays the ever popular  Thumper on a Bumper.  The daily luncheon special was called Guess That Mess. If you guessed it you ate free.  For desert you could have Horny Toad Ala Mode.

Before long the big franchise chains were looking at our operation. Big limos kept coming through the drive-in window with fat cats in the back seat smoking big cigars and wearing sunglasses. We knew they were stealing our thunder and would eventually gobble us up. Sure enough it happened--but in the meantime we had the satisfaction of knowing we had created something new and unusual for the discriminating palate.

GE/Houston
Copyright (C) l999 Glenn Elliott
All Rights Reserved
 

From:  GORDON RUTH 1975
Ann B. and I howled. "Thumper on a bumper"?!? ...that was great!  Tell us--weren't you a journalist at one time? Storytelling like THAT takes a lot of imagination and skill, in my humble opinion.  Another please!

Gordy

From: GLENN ELLIOTT

Gordy, my story telling began in my high school days at Eunice. My parents had me baby sit my two younger sisters.
We had acquired an old multi-stringed zither.(Remember the Third Man Theme?) I strummed along on the zither and told scary stories to my sisters as the cold winds blew outside. Scared them to death!

I don't have a zither today, but practice my craft on three grandsons whose eyes get big as saucers as I weave. We tell "boy stories". Not to be repeated to the women. It's a secret. They love it, and so do I..
GE/Houston

From: GORDON RUTH 1975

Glenn--

I think that is great! To be serious for a moment...  Your grandsons are blessed and they will remember it all their lives. When I was a little boy, my dad used to tell us that he was born in a chicken coop. Well, we'd be travelling somewhere and pass an old shack or some small building and daddy would say "there's my birthplace" and I would say "really, daddy?". He would laugh and say "why, sure!". To this day, it's not hard to pull a fast one on me. Things could always be worse!

Gordy

From: GLENN ELLIOTT 1951

Gordy, my grandfather had a farm near Abilene. Each summer when he raised watermelons we ate them outside under his grape arbor. His favorite trick was to cut a piece of rind, remove the green, and shape big buck teeth. He put them in his mouth and talked like a Chinese man. "Ah, so" he would say.  This got passed down to our present generation and our grandkids always ask for "So-So" teeth when they see watermelons.

GE/Houston

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