as told by Glenn Elliott (bold print)
The Fourth of July fireworks resulted in an unusual occurrence at Loch Eunice. Following the noisy and spectacular fireworks display spectators reported seeing a large sloshing image in the loch and three ducks were missing on the morning of the 5th. Only white feathers were floating on the shoreline. Speculation ran rampant as comparisons were made with many sightings of some kind of monster. RV's around the park were rousted in the early morning hours with low moaning groans and the air was restless and scary. Ducks stayed out of the water and stood around in 96 degree heat rather than risk going back in the cooling liquid. This raised many questions among visitors and RV owners. Rumors are still circulating about the "event." GE
ANN BERTRAND 1954 : Glenn, About the time I think you're on vacation
and can't possibly come up with another story you do it! LOL You've started
something again you know so come on with another episode..........Annie
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: A monster??????????????? I am trembling
in my boots er sandals!!!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: And to think I took my grandson out there to feed the ducks !! Now I know why those ducks charged toward the car. I thought they wanted food. Ha! They wanted a ride out of there... Please continue this tale of terror.
...and as you probably already know, Loch Eunice is on the site of the former Humble "G" camp which existed there for many years and had about l0-l2 homes and an office. Rumors are that Anne once found dollar bills in the trees there and gathered them. Strange things happen in places where you least expect them. Odd occurrences, poltergeist, the return of spirits from the past. Ah, the considerations....
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: This story is getting a little strange . . .
TANYA GRAY 1966: I think Glenn should write for the Eunice News! Sounds like a good story to me.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: UH-OH GLENN, YOU GOT IT WRONG! THEY WERE $20'S AND THEY WERE ON THE GROUND. ROTFLMAO HERE WERE SOME STRANGE THINGS HAPPENED BACK IN THOSE DAYS!
OK, OK, they were $20's. Just checking to see if you were keeping up! In any case, the next thing that happened was top scientific "gurus" from the world of Nessie Research and Technology were summoned by Tanya to investigate with high tech underwater equipment. She authorized a sweep of Loch Eunice by side scanning sonar and marine television cameras from the Oil Center Institute of Marine Biology. Naturally the results were inconclusive, as usual. However the moaning and groaning at night continued. Could it be coming from the RV's? Snoring???? And what accounted for the continued decimation of the small duck population?....continued...
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Hey that snoring did not come from our RV........Well maybe it did and I will certainly speak to Deanie about it. ROTFL Well, that accounts for the noises. How about the ducks? Were you dining on Duck l'orange from the Loch? You know, now that you mentioned it I think perhaps that "chicken" Deanie brought in might have been a duck in disguise. I thought that was a very big chicken! Well I guess that is what happens to an Alaskan boy that is use to going out and killing whatever is in the bushes ( errr lake). I promise I will keep a close eye on him at the next reunion so that local animals/fowl/critters do not disappear. But let me assure you that there was only one chicken/duck brought in by my Deanie. Now what happened to the rest of them is another story. Have you questioned that 1967 group? Some of them looked a mite shady to me and I know for a fact that one of them had a weapon.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, Maybe they weren't even ducks, but turkeys instead-the ones that survived the famous Eunice Post Office Turkey fling. Anyway, everyone knows turkeys can't swim. Maybe they just drowned. But as for the noises, I really wonder!
So it was a quandry wrapped in an enigma. Ducks missing, moaning at night. RVs stopped using the park. Fright was everywhere. Was it time to bring in the expert? Was it time for the man in the big red shirt? Several days passed and things got quieter. Unusual heat in the area brought the loch temperature up to a high level. Ducks returned to their ordinary business. Then one of the hens came swimming out of the rushes along the south bank followed by l2 little ducklings paddling along and quacking their hearts out. What could possibly do harm to those sweet little creatures???????
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Oh no! Oh no! I am hiding my eyes!!! I can't look! Please don't let anything happen to the baby ducks!!!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Save the ducklings !!! Save the ducklings !!! After all it is one thing for the grown ducks to be in danger, but no way can we let the little baby ducks be threatened...Call out the National Guard, Call the Mayor, call the Governor! Might a Duck Fund be appropriate here? Whatever it takes let's do it.
..and they bobbed along like little yellow corks paddling as fast as tiny feet would go. Then a ripple in the water behind them revealed something ominous....slowly cruising...checking the situation...blowing huffs of hot breath breaking the water. A hump...then two...
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Oh Glenn please don't tell us that something
is going to eat those poor defenseless, cute as a button, little yellow,
bright eyed innocent ducklings?? You do not want to make grown women cry.
It is not a pretty sight!! Swim Ducklings, swim !!!!
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Oh no!!! This is too much to stand!!! Do
all fowl who travel through Eunice have to have a foul ending???? First
the post office turkeys, then my precious Easter chicken that Fred thinks
he had for Easter dinner and now these precious little ducklings. HELP
SOMEBODY! PLEASE HELP!!!! Who is going to be the hero in this story?????
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, don't worry about the little ducklings. There will be a Hero and only Glenn knows who it will be! Come on Glenn, tell these girls so they don't bawl all night. Besides I want to hear some more of the story......hehehehe
LOU CREECH 1960: Hey Ann I know the man with the super water gun will save those precious little ducklings. He will take care of that monster. I have faith in him. Swim little ducklings, swim. Your hero will come soon.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: I think the man with the water gun will have
to be the Hero as the creator of this story has gone to bed!!!!!!! hehehe
Man with water gun, it's all up to you!
Yes, that's it! The creator of this story passed a
brain stone and had to go to bed. ...but next nothing happened. The little
yellow ducklings paddled along as the water became still. A quiet pall
lay over the loch and spectators assumed the monster had gone deep. (After
all Loch Eunice is only 6 feet deep) So the legend is perpetuated and so
it must be, for as you all know, if we knew the outcome now, what fun will
pursue...
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: I want to know the outcome... Come on Glenn I know that brain is still working overtime. I'm waiting on pins and needles to hear the next part of the story! Why I might not be able to close my eyes until I know that those little ducks are safe and sound. And ----- what was making all those strange sounds late at night? I mean those RVers would not have left for no reason. No sir, not when they had a free place to stay! Something terrible must have chased them off.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Glenn Darlin, We all know that even passing a brain stone you would still have more than enough imagination to give us another episode to the continuing saga of the ducklings! Don't make us suffer too long before you tell us what happens next. I'll be a thankin you right now.........
For a long time it was very still and quiet around Loch Eunice--not even a ripple in the water. Eventually the tiny baby ducks grew into fully grown ducks and could fly to their own safety. But the moans and groans at late night caused a drop in tourism around the Loch. Fewer RVs camped in the park. Many pulled back to the Oil Patch RV grounds. Safety in numbers! The Chamber of Commerce considered a PR stunt. Maybe something like the famous Post Office Turkey Fling would juice up tourism again. A Loch Eunice Duck Fly Over by the famous Confederate Air Force White Angels seemed likea good idea. But could it restore confidence in the Legend of Loch Eunice. All these possibilities can cost big bucks. Where would they come from? Ah, money rears its ugly head!!!!!!
ANN BERTRAND 1954: OK Glenn, I think this calls for a fund raising gimmick! Got any ideas? Maybe we could raffle off one of Fred's RED shirts or a bound copy of your tale of the Naugas?????????????????? Let me know and I'll get to work on it!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Why don't we raffle off FRED ??? I bet we could get ten, 15 or twenty cents for him. With the red shirt we might get the amount up to 75 cents! ROTFLLLLLL I know Fred would want to do anything and everything to help out the ducklings & Eunice.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: That sounds good to me! But I think with a little advertising we might get it on up to a dollar for Fred.........hehehehe
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Annie, Let's don't price ourselves out of business..but if he is wearing his Road Kill Cafe hat we might be able to swing it.hehehe
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Well, OK........If you think so. But think about it we do need to raise money to save the poor little ducklings!!!!!!! ROTFLMAOADLANT
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: I thought the ducks just wanted something to eat. Little did I know that they just wanted a ride out of there. See how they are looking at the car. Hummmmmm trying to figure out how to drive it I'm sure.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Lynda, Poor, poor ducks! Why didn't you give them a ride??? They could be safe and living in that new cabin behind your house. Oh dear, oh dear!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: If only I had known they were in such danger
!! I could have brought them home. The only things they would have to worry
about up here is freezing their tail feathers off and bears. .ROTFL
If you look carefully at the Loch picture on the right
you see a dark shadow beneath the water and behind the ducks. This has
led to speculation that someone from Loch Ness should come to investigate.
Therefore Sir Gerald McTavish, Lochmonger, will arrive shortly accompanied
by a 40 piece bagpipe band in full dress. They will attempt to mimmick
the moan and ungodly groans heard around the July 5 incident. Hopefully
the so called "monster" will be attracted to the service responding to
a mating call. The bagpipe most nearly matches the sounds heard. A female
monster living in Loch Ness may be dispatched as a last resort, assuming
the resident monster is a heterosexual male. Political correctness will
be observed.... P.S. One of the photographs I made is being withheld
due to the extremely powerful, frightful image of something...
SANDRA MALONE 1961: Not to worry all you people in Eunice. Have no fear, the Hero in the grass skirt is here!!!!!!!!! The Momma and 2 babies arrived in Hawaii as I was taking my weekly stroll on the beach. I wondered why they were blue.....They were so completely worn out from paddling so fast and far. So like the good Samaritan that I am, I went in and gathered them up. Took them back to my little grass shack, fed them and gave them a good talking to about all the hazards of swimming in that Loch Eunice. They are now paddling around happily in the Pacific Ocean. Whoops !!!!!!!! Look out for that Shark !!!!!!!!!!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Oh I hope those kilts have lead weights in their hems when they are worn in that New Mexico wind...
I would not be so concerned with the kilts blowing up as I am how hot it will be for those Scotties wearing wool this time of year at Loch Eunice. Whew! l00+ in heavy wool!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Oh those poor Scotties ! Wind and heat.. I can surely sympathize with them.
Then the oddest thing happened
on the Loch. As the pipers played in a circle around the water's edge a
motion was seen just under the surface, and suddenly a driller's hard hat
popped up. It danced along the waveas if in rhythm to the screeching and
disonant harmony of the pipes, many of which had gone out of tune from
the sudden temperature change coming from Scotland to Eunice. And then
a horrendous moan errupted across the Loch, bubbles arose from the surface
and the remaining ducks scattered in flight to safety. Something was working.
Something had touched an ancient nerve. Was it the monster we have all
heard about that menaced baby ducklings? And why was it wearing a driller's
hat? Stay tuned for these, and many other answers as we delve into the
Mystery of Loch Eunice.(Soon to be published in paperback)
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Glenn, Put me down for a paperback and hurry
with the rest of the story. I'm glued to this computer until I know what
happens !!
Then the waters became very still. No waves--but the
ducks were skittish and raising a ruckus. The 40 pipers took a break under
the trees to escape the brutal heat. "Aye, It's hot as the hubs of hell,"
said Brutish McReagan. "Let's go back to Scotland and bug our own Nessie."
So for many nights the full moon rose over Loch Eunice and only a cool
breeze fell over the water. Finally in disgust, the pipers packed their
pipes and some pickled peppers picked up at the Locker Plant. They plan
to take them home to their families. So was it all over at Loch Eunice?
Was anything resolved? Will the driller's hat appear again? Will
Beverly post a newly released photo of the monster? We'll see!
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Lynda, When I got home from work this afternoon I checked my mailbox just like I always do. There was this long white envelope. I examined it carefully. The return address and the postmark both said Houston. The return address was from our Tall Tales Teller, Glenn. Because the address was typed, I can't tell if it was really from him or not. Of course, we do know that he does prefer to type. Still it could be an imposter trying to pretend to be Glenn.
Anyway, my curiosity got the best of me and I ripped the envelope open. No note---just a photo. YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT WAS IN THE PHOTO. I took it over to the college where I work to our famous geologist who also is well versed in paleontology. He authenticated the photo. Says it has not been touched up in anyway. He actually believes that it could be a pleisiosaur, a prehistoric sea reptile believed to have become extinct when the dinosaurs did. He kept the original photo and is having other experts come in and have a look, but I made a copy first. They are talking about sending a team to Eunice right away.
TAKE A LOOK, YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT IS LIVING IN LOCH EUNICE! Could it possibly be that there is a Loch Eunice Monster???? And to think we were all right there just a couple of weeks ago.
Well I have tried to upload this photo about 15 times. I am going to have to try another way. Maybe it is so top secret that the CIA (Cyberspace Intelligience Agency) is blocking it. I will get it to you some way, because you have got to see this. Okay, finally! Click on: TOP SECRET PHOTO. You aren't going to believe your eyes!
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Well girls, I've been waiting to see where
this story was going and now I know !!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO Don't
you think this tops the Jal cowboy sculpture???????? hehehe
Top the Jal sculpture? I should hope so! After all
ours is a living breathing silhouette--not cut-out cowboys. Now the
question arises: What must he be named? Any suggestions?? A contest
perhaps? NAME THAT MONSTER !
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: I think we should name him Glenn after his creator maybe.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, Thanks for coming up with a name as I
thought a little and it made my head hurt so gave up! Talk about passing
a brain stone!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Meanwhile when the pipers who had picked a peck of
pickled peppers returned to Inverness local Scots were enthralled with
the story of Loch Eunice. Naturally the story was considerably embellished
by the time it traveled all the way back to Nessie's neighborhood. "Mon,
the Eunice monster was 60 feet long", they told the locals. "And it was
a real fire breather." "We thinks the devil was in it and it swallowed
gas from the oil fields, and belched out flames and gas for 40 feet." "Aye,
and it singed the ducks feathers and even roasted one right on the water."
Then the question of the declining duck population came up. What to do
about the shortage of fluffy little yellow baby ducklings!!! What to do???
(Quack, quack, quack)
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Oh my goodness! Our very own Loch Eunice monster.. I think we should name it Lila T...we could call it Loch T. hehehe Should someone be notified about this find so that Eunice might be protected? I think we should call the long arm of the law from Hobbs, our own home grown David. Glenn has done a wonderful job of bringing this monster to our attention and to think we only thought of him as a Teller of Tall Tales. This picture should alert people not to go out to the Loch alone. Use the buddy system and wear running sneakers!
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Glenn, Please, please don't tell us
there will be no more 'little yellow ducklings' on the lake! We can't let
this nasty ole monster take away the joy of 'duck watching' on Loch Eunice!
You've passed the brain stone so you should be able to find a solution
to this problem.?.?.? Hurry, I see more little yellow feathers floating-floating-floating.....
Then in a flash bordering on brilliant and divine
inspiration the Chamber of Commerce (AKA C of C) hit upon an idea! They
would stock the lake with special fish that would drive out the horrible
monster for good. So they placed an order in China to bring in some special
talent. YES! They ordered 500,000 Big Mouth Billy Bass for direct air shipment
to Hobbs International Airport for truck delivery to the Loch. Imagine
that! A singing fish that can drive anything crazy! Surely it would bonkers
the Loch Eunice Monster. It was l08 and overcast when the Chinese Airways
747 jumbo jet touched down at Hobbs. Hundreds of fish hauling trucks equipped
with tanks lined the runway to quickly transfer the Big Mouth Billy Bass
(and Mrs. Basses) to the Loch. It was the most massive operation ever seen
in these parts. Police sirens wailing and officials everywhere accompanied
the singing fish on the 20 mile journey to "drop me in the water." People
lined the highways on either side waving posters and banners which said:
"Welcome Big Mouth Billy Bass" and "He's Here To Save Our Loch".
When the first of the 500,000 BMBB's were loosened into the water it was
only a low harmony erupting from the water--almost a religious hum. Then
as more arrived the activity hastened and roiled with BMBB's. A churning
mass of jet lagged fish disoriented (remember they were from the Orient)
each trying to find his place around the new home. The humming increased
and finally the last of the 50 trucks dumped his load into the Loch. THEN
IT HAPPENED!!!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: I think our monster should be named Elliott if a he and Ellie if a she.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: YEE- HAW !!!!!!!!!!!!! This story is picking
up steam....
FRED TUCKER 1960: Glenn, I have heard that there are some sheep
that wear woolies year round.
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Fred, Good to see you online. Annie and I figure
we can raffle you off and earn money to save the ducklings in Loch Eunice.
Will you wear one of your red shirts so that we might be able to raffle
you for more $$$$? Your friend Lynda PS Be sure to wash
your face and comb your hair too. Thanks PSS If this does not
raise money maybe we should sell our "truck".
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: GLENN--------------WHAT HAPPENED??????????
Don't leave us hanging like this!
Then from the middle of the Loch arose the Monster
with a big smile on his face! And 500,000 tiny pair of fish lips just broke
the surface as he uttered this song: "Here's a little song I wrote, Might
want to sing it note for note." "Don't worry, be happy, Don't worry, be
happy." And the fish chimed in on the background chorus: "Ooooo, oooo,
ooooo" "Don't worry, be happy."
LOU CREECH 1960: Glenn you are really a fantastic writer. You
know seems like I have heard the songs that the fish are singing somewhere
before. Might have been at the Dairy Freeze or somewhere that I heard some
more fish singing that song. I sure hope that the little ducks Don't
Worry and Will Be Happy. I will be looking forward to the next page in
this episode.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, So what are you saying???? The Loch
Eunice Monster and the singing fish lived in perfect harmony on the Loch
Eunice. Is this one of those "And they lived happiliy ever after stories?"
But what about the little yellow ducks? Their singed feathers? Their fear?
EPILOGUE---Walt Disney never came to Eunice. If he
had he could have found the perfect site for a new theme park. Imagine
what a fantasia of animals living in perfect harmony. Fluffy little yellow
ducklings, Big Mouth Billy Bass, swans on the loch, and a benign "Be Happy"
monster--all living in an ideal paradise. A campground full of RVs with
happy kids playing. Clean water. The C of C picture of recreation. No more
moans and groans at night. The next time you pass old Humble 'G" camp and
see the beautiful Loch Eunice just think about what happened there, and
"Don't Worry--be HAPPY!"
