as told by Glenn Elliott
Note: You will find that the comments went in a completely different direction, but thought the EHS readers might enjoy it anyway.
Mama looked over our You Kill It, We Grill It menu recently and has decided to add more domestic flavors for the new millennium. In addition to our popular cruising cuisine we're adding a new concept for in-town folks featuring canine specialities. We call it: "You'll eat like a hog...when you taste our dog."There's Slab of Lab, Pit Bull Pot Pie, Cocker Cutlets, Shar-Pei Filet, Poodles 'N' Noodles, Curried Collie, German Shepard Pie, and Round of Hound. On New Years Eve we're open till 2 a.m. and will have late night delights, Awesome Possum, Cheap Sheep, and Flat Cat (served as a single, or in a stack). Quails with Snails will be available in season. Of course our quickie, Bag 'N' Gag or Anything Dead, On Bread, will come with rice pilaf or pork and beans. If you haven't already made your New Year's Eve plans then get on down to the "Y" for the Road Kill Cafe's big Ring In The New Century extravaganza. We're having a harmonica player from Monument for entertainment. Our package deal is all you can eat $4.95. Bon Apetite!Copyright (C) l999 Glenn ElliottAll Rights Reserved
Glenn Elliott '51/Houston
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Glenn, Please tell me where do you get your inspiration for these menus??? That is so funny I'm still laughing with tears running down on my keyboard........I know I'm cured from this CMS thing but that posting has me hooked again......Hehehehehe Annie
GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:
Annie, my inspiration comes from living in Eunice and experiencing seeing so many menu items that could be put to use just lying there on the highway l8. Cars did a lot of damage to the critters, but trucks put a different spin on them.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Glenn, I know we all saw things like that but would never have thought they would sound so good and appetizing???!!! ..........LOL You do have a way with words..Annie
GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:
ROADKILL CAFE FORCED TO CUT BACK NEW YEAR'S BLAST Due to disappointing advance reservations the Road Kill Cafe will curtail New Year's Eve celebrations. Only 2 of the 4 stools had been sold as of l2/27/99. The management has also announced the harmonica player previously scheduled to appear from Monument will be replaced by a juice harp player due to reduced budget.The Road Kill Cafe appologizes for any inconvenience this may cause revelers. Please come again.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, Reserve one of those remaining stools for me. I don't know how I forgot to make reservations, but it seems that you may be the only place in the U.S. who still has room for the revelers to welcome 2000 in. Hey, anybody else without plans for the big night, make your reservation at the Road Kill Cafe now!
RICHARD ALLEN 1967: Glenn, You mean people (some, not all) actually get paid for playing the harmonica. I think I've been duped...they always made me pay to play. Of course, I was able to recoup some of the loss by refusing to quit playing until there was enough money in my hat to buy the gasoline necessary to get out of town.
GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:
Ric, come on down and jam with us New Year's Eve. We may also have a Ukelele player from Sandy's town who got lost. My uncle will be on spoons and with the juice harp who knows, we may have quite a band. Can you play "AuldLang Syne" at midnight? Otherwise we're just going to all hum along and fake it. I may also play me pipes if the Dom Periginon inspires me. Hit a couple of bunnies on the way and we'll make you a feast you won't soon forget, with rice pilaf, au grautin potatoes, green beans and rolls.
RICHARD ALLEN 1967: Glenn, Your invitation to join you New Year's was really nice, but haven't you heard...there's supposed to be some "bug" turned loose at midnight! I'm not sure what to look for, but from the sound of the description given by some, it must be humongous. It is supposed to devour entire computer files, soak up a billion gallons of gasoline and leave virtually every municipality dry as a desert and black as the inside of a cow. I think I'll stay home and pull the covers over my head, but thanks for the invite just the same. I really, really, really hope to hear from you again sometime soon (or to hear from anybody whose left, in fact),,,,,
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, You can count on me to be there. I can't play the harmonica and my daughter gets irritated when I hum, but I might can handle the spoons. I think I could even play a tonette! However, no road kill for me please. I will take the vegetarian plate. You do serve vegetables, don't you?
Note to the Rest of You Eunice-ites:
Who else is planning to join Glenn at the Road Kill Cafe? I heard that he will use the income made at this New Year's Shingdig to help cover the costs for travel to Eunice in July. Come on everybody, let's support this hometown boy!
I even heard that there would be a celebrity there. You may have heard of the famous psycho babbler, Dr. PB. (He's on tv almost every night.) I heard that he is bringing his entire staff. What an opportunity to meet him in person. And if we have to deal with any Y2K catastrophes-why he will be right there to help us get through the trauma.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, Am I to assume by the lack of your response to my previous message that you do not need me to play spoons or the tonette at the Road Kill Cafe Friday night?
GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:
Au contraire, mon ami. We have installed a special spo t light over your stool for your tonette playing! I am sorry we did not get back to you sooner. Please let us know what entree you will bring, so we can decide what side dishes you wish to consume. Florida gator tail might be nice. With that we could add Potatoes Au Road Kill, Carrots A-Bunny Hop, and grits. Our featured champagne is Road Kill Appelation Controlee l998 with the screw-off top. Bon Apetite! The Road Kill CafeNow serving over 2 dozen--since l986
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, I am so excited to be the featured musician of the night! Well I better get that tonette out, dust it off and get to practicing! Let's see I think I remember how to play Flow Gently Sweet Afton, What Can the Matter Be?, The Blue Danube Waltz, and all those other great tonette tunes. I will be ready to take requests from the audience. As for what I wish to eat for my New Year Eve feast, I think I will just go with a vegetarian plate. The Florida gator tail is enticing, but I will stick with the green stuff. Along the way, I will pick up a few armadillos and opossums just in case anyone shows up without meat. Hey, have you ever thought of serving New Mexico Tarantula? I have heard it is quit a delicacy. Also, it has been years since I have seen some good horned toads cooked up. Is it true that the renown Dr. PB has made reservations? Well, I can hardly wait! See you soon.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Ric, Out here in Florida we have what we call Hurricane Parties. The really brave (some call them foolish) stay right out on the beach during the hurricane and party the night away. Now I know that we New Mexicans are tougher than these Floridians around here. Instead of a hurricane party, we will thumb our noses at that ole Y2K bug. Let's look him right in the eye. Come on down to the Road Kill Cafe and bring that harmonica. Glenn has chosen me to be featured tonette player. It would be an honor to play in a band with you once again.
GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:
YES! Dr Babble has confirmed our 4th stool and will be interviewed by Peter Jennings in their l00-hour Y2K show. It is a direct feed from the Road Kill Cafe and we expect it to really put us on the map. Many new reservations have come in since this news and we're going to set up some card tables to handle overflow crowds. Of course we'll have your favorite "Horny Toad ala mode" plus flat cats, single, or on a stack. Unfortunately tarantla w/tarragon sauce is out of season now. It will be summer before those little buggers are out on the highway again. Our early bird breakfast will be Texas size bisquits with Kentucky (KY) jelly. See you with your tonette tomorrow. THE ROAD KILL CAFE
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967 : Glenn, Just wanted you to know that I am on my way. Got through Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana just fine. I have run into a traffic jam around Silsbee, TX. Seems they are all on their way to the big shindig at the Road Kill Cafe at the Eunice Y. Hope you are busy getting ready for the crowd. I was so hoping that we could convince Ric Allen to crawl out from under those covers and come play his harmonica for us. I was thinking maybe some more of the EHS band alumni would be willing to join us as well. Well, while at a stand still in all this traffic, I continue to practice my tonette. Thank goodness for these new fangled hand-held computers! See you in a few hours.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Fred, We heard that you don't have a date for tonight. Dorothy is still out of town and you couldn't find another date at the last minute. Too bad. Why don't you come on down to the Road Kill Cafe? You can come stag. The company will be good, the music will be great, and the food will be . . .well . . . the company will be good. Don't forget to pick up your meat along the way unless you want the vegetarian plate.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Annie, If you don't have plans for tonight, come on down to the big celebration at Glenn's cafe. I do have to tell you that I did get the last room at the Oil Patch Motel though! SORRY! LOL
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, What a night! What a party! And seeing Dr. PB in person was something I will never forget. Those of you who didn't bring in Y2K at the Road Kill Cafe really missed a night to remember. So sorry Ric didn't show up with his harmonica! Glenn, I am sure you really brought in the big bucks tonight! This certainly should cover the cost of your room at the Oil Patch Motel. I guess those of you in the restaurant business always are looking ahead to the next big holiday! What will it be for Valentine's Day?
GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:
Yea, what a night! What a time! What a celebration we had to end all celebrations. We completely ran out of food and had to hail down l8-wheelers to get extra entrees. The party was fine and all stools were taken.Even the drive-up window was overtaxed with as many as 30 cars in line for those Mashed Moose cutlets sent down by Lynda. The juice harp music plus locals on spoons, tonettes and kazoos really capped it off. Patrons say it was the best New Year's eve ever. Even Dr Psycho Babble babbled for us on open mike and took chorous of Ald Lang Syne. We're sorry the bottle of wine ran out early--we didn't anticipate folks would want more than one sip. Anyway, we're closing today to restock our pantry and will be open again for business tomorrow night. Thanks to all our patrons from the Road Kill Cafe. Our thoughts for the new millennium: Look along the way for it may be your next entree.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev,You're a lucky-lucky girl to get that last room! And I'm just sick that I missed the party but was called out of town at the last minute. I know y'all had a fantastic time but I'll make up for it in July!!!!!!!!!!Annie
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Ann, While I was at the Oil Patch Motel, I mentioned that you had agreed to have 6 cots moved into your room for the procrastinators who didn't make reservations. They said no problem and they will put a porta-pottie for us outside the door. I dibs the first cot. Who else wants to stay with Annie??? First come first serve. LOL
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Glenn, You mean you did not get the fish heads and tails I sent ? I had picked them up off the beach myself last summer and had kept them securely tied on a tree limb right up until I sent them. I had also sent "sourdough" biscuits made from a sourdough starter that had been started at the turn of the 18th century. I'm sure someone had a wonderful feast on the fish and biscuits somewhere along the route to you. I still have some fish left so will keep it tied on that limb until next year. Ahhhhh what a treat... I will make sure there will be Eskimo Ice Cream next year made from whale blubber....
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Ahh Bev, Cots and Porta-pottie.....Sounds like HOME to me! That #1 cot has your name on it so anyone else wants one better speak up now...They are going quick..........Annie
FRED TUCKER 1960: Bev, I want the number 2 and possable number 3 cott. Just in cass you know. I think it will be so much fun for a bunch of us to bunk togather, We can rest, relax, and shoot the brease togather at the same time.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Fred, In order to stay with Annie and me, you are going to first tell us who is going to be in Cot no. 3. Also, if it isn't Dorothy, you will have to bring a permission slip from her! Right, Annie? Anyway, I am not sure if the Oil Patch Motel is co-ed. We will have to check.
FRED TUCKER 1960: Dear Annie I posted my request under Bev's reply to you so you can read hers from me and you will find out that I have reserved two cots. So you can put me down too.
FRED TUCKER 1960: I just now made a long distance call to find out for sure, and what I found out was YES it is co-ed. YEPEE!!!!!!, but I will have to get a note.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Fred, This is to confirm your reservation , but on these conditions. #1-That Dorothy is in cot #3 and if not-- #2-You have her permission to be there with the 'girls'!! And #3-You promise to behave and not get us run out of the motel........Annie
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Annie, I think that the note should be notarized. I heard that Fred sometimes signed his own report cards.
FRED TUCKER 1960: Annie, OK on all four acounts. so I will see you and whom ever you can get to be there too.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, Probably a good idea as we all know Fred prety well by now! hehehehe Annie
FRED TUCKER 1960: Bev Yes ma'am I signed them. They told me they had to be signed so I had to sign them for them to be signed.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: No problem Fred, We won't have any trouble getting more to be there......... Glad to have you in the group!!!!!! Annie
FRED TUCKER 1960: Ann So you think you know me so well. I bet if I didn't show up with my red shirt on you wouldn't know me at all.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Lynda, If the RV thing doesn't work out for you, I have a really good deal for you. Annie has a room at the Oil Patch MOtel and she is selling cots. We already have one reserved by me, Fred and maybe Dorothy. Also, I think Annie's brother might stay there one night. Oh and don't let me forget Gordy, he'll be there too. Anyway, do you want us to reserve a cot for you just in case? You will have to pay a deposit down and it is not refundable, but don't you think it is safe to make sure you will have a place to stay? So what do you think, Lynda? Huh?
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Fred Sweetheart, Put your money where your mouth is and we'll see. I know a little Devil when I see one......LOL Annie
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Lynda, I think you should listen to Bev and go ahead
and reserve the cot right now---tonight!
They're going fast but I've devised a way to stack them , kind of like Bunk Beds....What do you think??? We could really get a BUNCH in that room!
DEB GLOVER 1974: Well...what number am I? (Remember I have to have a bottom one because I'm afraid of heights...)
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Bev, I shutter to think of sleeping on a cot so I think I will pass on the generous offer. Besides that, I'm sure one or more will snore all night and some of us realllllly need our beauty sleep. There have got to be places in Hobbs, ( heaven forbid)(sorry Jerry) Jal, Lovington, or somewhere !!!! Just the thoughts of sleeping on a cot makes that motorhome look more like an option. hehehe Thank you for thinking of me though and I will try to find someway to return the favor. HEHEHE
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Annie, I cannot believe how thoughtful you are about wanting to share your room, and for what I am sure would be a reasonable rate, but I fear I have to pass. That is unless times reallllllly get desperate and I'm praying that does not happen! LOL But you have given me an idea on how I can rent the space underneath the RV. hehehehe You gals thought I would be sharing my laptop didn't you ?? Oh, I am on to you and Bev!! ROTFL
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Lynda, Okay fine, your loss. When we are partying it up in the room with Fred and others, you will be out there all alone just you and your laptop! Annie has plans to install a dance floor in the closet and hire one of the bands that used to play out at the Oil Center Dance Hall. And I had heard that you did like to dance. Oh well. PARTY! I heard tell that Glenn has the room next to Annie's. We might see if he can set up a franchise of the Road Kill Cafe right there. We may never have to leave. We can have the whole reunion and party right there.
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, Any chance you can set up a franchise to the Road Kill Cafe right there at your room at the Oil Patch Motel? Annie and I were talking and we think that with all the people staying in her room, the dance floor and all, there will be some really hungry people and some money to be made.
GLENN ELLIOTT 1951: The management of the Road Kill Cafe has been approached by several "feelers" for franchise roll-outs. To name a few a certain "Mc Road Kill", and "Taco Kill." The problem is they can't guarantee that fresh ground, barely gone taste, so crucial to the famous Road Kill gastronomical success. Also we've been concerned about having to give up that "homey" and unsophisticated feeling you get at the RKC. They want plastic, plastic, plastic! As to serving at the Oil Patch. We can cater the whole gig with only 4 hours notice. (That's how long our "road gang" needs to gather the entrees). We work all the major highways coming into town. I guess we'll hold out against the biggies another year. Who knows?
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Lynda dear, I think you're passing up a good thing by not taking us up on this offer....Bev couldn't get a commitment out of Glenn for the Road Kill Cafe #2 but he did say he could cater on 4 hrs notice! So if you change your mind just let us know. You're more than welcome...BTW we've changed the name of Oil Patch Motel to Annie's Place!!!!!!!!
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Well now wait a minute!!! No one said a word about dancing earlier, maybe I spoke in haste.. The last time I was at that place there was a party going on. ( over 40 years ago) Ahhhhhh the memories.. I will have to rethink my decision. If it is toooo late for a cot I can bring a sleeping bag.. Doesn't sound like there will be much sleeping anyway...If nothing else maybe I can run a longggggg extention cord to the front door and into the RV..so I can park real close. Remember I am bringing my digital camera and I WILL be taking pictures. So please speak to Annie and see if she has room for just one more. Keep in mind that I am short so I won't take up much space. We won't talk about the width space!!!! hehehe
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Annie, Lynda just gave me a great idea for another money making project. I wonder how many electrical outlets are in the room. We could allow the RVs to hook up for power to the room. What do you think? We would just have to caution the dancers to be careful and not trip over the cords. Maybe Lynda could run this concession. Let's see now, we have Glenn catering the food, we have Fred in charge of selling snack foods, Deb can supervise the porta-pottie & the sales for its use, Lynda in charge of RV hook-ups, We need someone to be in charge of the dance floor. I wonder if Red would be interested. What else do we need?
DEB GLOVER 1974: Ohhhhhh in charge of the porta-potties!!! I just love change! LOL
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, Looks like we just about have the whole thing covered! Yes, I think Red would be perfect for taking charge of dance floor duties with maybe Sandy to help him..What do you think? But hey, we might need a bouncer too. What about Bill Lord? I have the feeling with this many involved we might need one!!!!!!!!! LOL Annie
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Forgot to mention that I've had a quarter slot installed on my CD player so when the band takes a rest we don't have to be without music..Nice little bit of change to be made there! hehehe
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Ohhhhhhhhhhh Annie great idea! If we do as well as I think we will, we may need to just plan our own World's Fair in 2001. We could have it right there in Eunice. I think you are right about the bouncer. We need to check with Bill. Now that he is retired, I bet he could find the time to help us out. I was thinking that we need to get one of those mirror balls to hang over the middle of the dance floor. What do you think?
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Very good idea Bev, We ain't running no DIVE there! This will be a High Class--High Tone place and it must look the part!!! Nearly forgot, we could bed one more down on the tacky old long dresser they have in motels. If it's a short one we'll just put a short person there.........
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Annie, Great idea. I was thinking we could rent out the drawers of the dresser like they do lockers in bus stations. We just have to get those locks put on them. Maybe we could talk Gary Ferguson, class of 60, into setting up a tour bus service to transport people all around. I went to one of those huge Teacher Conferences in New Orleans in November and that is how we got around to all the stuff. The route could be to where the Star Drive-in once stood, the school cafeteria, high school, the Y to see the Road Kill Cafe where the famous Dr. PB spent New Year's Eve, maybe two or three different bus stops on Main Street, the park and then back to the Oil Patch Motel (errrrr I mean "Annie's Place). While he is taking everyone around, he can be picking up any available food along the way to take to Glenn to prepare for our daily feasts from the Road Kill Cafe catering service.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, You're an endless source of good ideas. And with all the dancing and carrying on's we'll be doing, we will get mighty HONGRY!! So if ole Ferg will scout up all the road kill from miles around we'll have no reason to be having the empty stomach feeling. Man, I feel a good time coming on!..........Annie
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Okay Gary, Do you think you could handle this awesome job, tour bus driver and guide and road kill scout? Annie says if you do a good job, you will be greatly compensated?
FRED TUCKER 1960: Bev, If we can't find a mirror ball, then how bout a big wide angle mirrow to just hang on the ceiling?
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Fred, That just shows why we put you in charge of snacks and not in charge of decorations. Leave the docorating to Annie and me. What do you have in mind for snack?
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: I think we should call the place "Good Time Annie's"... I can handle the hook ups for the RV's ( for a fee of course). I thought of a couple of other things that have not been covered. How about little tables right outside the front door ( for a fee of course) for those that cannot get inside? Also I've heard no mention of decorations. We have to have decorations !!! How about tumbleweeds shaped like Cardinals and painted red ? We could allow pictures taken ( for a fee of course). Then there might be the sight see'ers, which would be fine ( for a fee of course). This could be the biggest event to hit Eunice since the Turkey Toss. How about a raffle? We could see tickets at the door and maybe raffle one of the single guys off. How about Gordy? hehehe Yeeeeeee-Haw I'm headed to "Good Time Annie's" !!!!
BEVERLY HARVEY: Okay Lynda, You are now getting with the program. When you rejected our offer of a cot, I must admit I was just a little miffed. But if you are going to deal with the RV hook-ups maybe it is just as well that you stay in an RV. (I do like the idea of renting the space under the RV to those who didn't plan in time to get a cot at "Good Time Annies.")
As for decorations, I think tumbleweeds shaped like cardinals scattered through out the room and dance floor area are just the tasteful kind of decorating that Annie is looking for. We do want to make sure that everything is in good taste and not tacky. (That is why Fred is not on the decorating committee.)
Your idea for tables outside the room is a good one. We could go for the look of a Paris Sidewalk Cafe. I know that people will be coming from all around when they hear that Glen is in charge of the catering.
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Lynda, I can see right now that this is going to be my most profitable venture ever!! Those ideas are fantastic and they just keep on coming and coming....A couple of others I thought of was if we are gonna put up those little tables we could maybe sell some home crafted 'stuff'. Not plastic canvas but really good things made with popsickle sticks and such...What do you think? Those road- side stands do real well ever where else. Just have us a little money-makin business!! Man, Ican feel the silver in my pockets already!!! As you said YEE-HAW..........Good Time Annie's ready to Rock and Roll......
LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Bev, I know the menu alone will bring them in from miles around. I know Fred might not be toooooo good at decorations but I'm sure he will be able to really" cut a rug out on the dance floor" or better yet he could sing with the band..hehehe Anything else I can help with just send me an "E" ( email). I hope Bill will be able to handle crowd control by himself. We would not want things to get out of hand and perhaps make the headlines of the morning paper !!! We will have to keep an eye on that Red so he does not get too festive.. GORDON RUTH 1975: Lynda, The idea is to MAKE money at this shindig, not send all the planning and potential sales into a tailspin by trying to auction me off. I've been on the market for awhile now...no takers. LOL
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Gordy, You just haven't been marketed properly! A good man is hard to find and I do believe that you are one! I think that you could bring in big bucks, but I bet Annie would insist on 75% of the take since she is related! (Please don't mention this to Annie, but I am getting a little concerned about her overwhelming focus on making money! I heard her mumbling about renting sleeping space on the roof of the motel.)
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, I hadn't thought of that but now that you mentioned it...........hehehehehe
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Annie, That was not for your ears! Who told you?
ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, Nobody told me!!! I told you I'm
a snoop. Don't try to hide things from me in another strand.
I can sniff them out faster than you write them!! LOL........
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, I was just wondering what you have planned at the Road Kill Cafe for Valentines Day. You know it is fast approaching. People are already making plans for that special day. Do you have any specials going? Are you bringing in any big name entertainment? The Y2K Blowout was a night to remember! Can you top it?
Back to the Table of Contents for Tall Tales