Road kill Cafe Adds Maitre'D
by Glenn Elliott (Glenn's text is in bold)

EUNICE--Due to the crushing demand for better service the famous Road Kill Cafe has added another veteran staffer just in time for the Valentines Day Blowout Extravaganza. Well known Maitre'd Jacque of London has joined the staff following surgery on his hands to allow full rotation of his wrists, therefore allowing him to snatch tips in a full 360 degrees of motion. Jacque has served the rich and famous in fancy restaurants across Europe and looks forward to your patronage ($). He is fluent in several languages and has recently completed a 6 week course in Awl Field nomenclature and expressions at the LePlume de la Nom in Geneva. RKC has also brought in 4 more folding chairs in addition to our 4 stools for the big Valentine Blast.Reservations are still available. And yes, Pixie shoes also will come in 8 l/2 sizes, so don't let that hold you back. Bring your own critter snacks and we'll furnish the fun next Monday night, Feb l4! See you. Chow!The Road Kill Cafe -- Over a dozen served.

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967:  Glenn, I am anxious to meet your new Maitre'D. I have a new fru-fru dress that is pink chiffon and some pixie shoes to match that I am dying to wear that night.  I was wondering. Is there any chance that you might could have a contest---For the Queen of Hearts and the King of Hearts? I am sure in my new dress with several "rainbow" can-cans freshly starched and my "BIG" hair teased to the max, I am a shoe-in for Queen of Hearts.   Any idea, who could be the King of Hearts?

EDNA GROGAN 1968:  I would like to make a reservation too, if the folding chairs aren't taken yet. I was thinking I could wear my new genuine Zsa Zsa Gabor faux leopard skin slacks with my fuzzy black sweater and my 6 inch black heels. No dancing in those shoes, so I might have to take them off (I will wash my feet for the occasion). By the way, the sweater is long enough to cover up all my tatoos and piercings, so that is no worry. I might not be able to contribute any fresh road kill, so I might have to bring something from the freezer. LOL
 
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967:  Edna, You sound just like the high class clientele that Glenn is trying to attract to the Road Kill Cafe. Your outfit sounds charming. I can hardly wait to see it. As for the 6 inch heels though, I hope you don't have any nosebleeds from the high altitude.
Say, what kind of road kill do you keep in your freezer way up there in Alaska?

EDNA GROGAN 1968:  Bev, We don't have anything as odiferous as polekat, or as palatable as the lizard cakes that were spoken of earlier, but we do occasionally see moose pellets that can be disguised as pecans. They don't shell too good, but they make a wonderful pie, or so I am told. Most of our actual road kill consists of very edible species such as road drug bear (preskinned) for your liking depending on yardage. Moose are an edible delicacy if found still in the frozen state. Otherwise, it takes a lot of salt; you have to cure the meat first, you see. Such as this is all over, what would prefer I bring? LOL
 
BEVERLY HARVEY 1967:  Edna, Oh yum, my mouth is really watering now. I'm not sure. I think I will trust your judgment to bring something really good for those of us living in the lower 48. In the meantime, we will make sure that we have some NM delicacies that you might be missing like crispy tarantulas.

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