Valentines Day Blow-out at Road Kill Café

By Glenn Elliott

The Road Kill Cafe announces a special celebration and menu for Valentines' Day. Tables will be covered with red plastic from Woolworth's and romantic candlelit dinners will be served featuring a new casserole dish known as Inadvertant Windshield and Spinach. It's a delightful taste of quail, dove, or even sparrow--depending on your good luck. The combo is slowly baked over our charcoal brazier and covered with a delicate wine sauce.

Our strolling violins trio will play romantic music as you dine with our new plastic tableware and paper napkins. They will play your favorites such as "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" and "I'm in the Mood For Love". Requests for "You Ain't Nothin but Awl Field Trash," will not be honored during this occasion. Call today for your reservation and you'll get a free candle you can burn at both ends. The Road Kill Cafe - Where "Pot Luck" suppers began.

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Glenn, I hope that I am not too late. I want to reserve a table for 6. I haven't figured out yet who I am going to invite to join me, but I know what I am going to wear. I am going to wear a hot pink chiffon dress with a giant bow in the back. I will have a matching bow in my hair and shoes to match also. I can hardly wait. This sounds like a night that I will remember. By the way, if something happens and you find that the violin trio cancels out, I volunteer to get up a strolling tonette trio.

LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Bev, If you cannot find anyone to join you at your table for six, Deanie and I will be happy to join you IF you will promise not to wear hot pink..A classy place like the Road Kill Cafe would not want a customer to clash with their tablecloths. I will volunteer to sing along with your tonette if Fred will join in and supply the baritone... Deanie could probably be persuaded to honor the crowd with a few knee slapping jokes and I bet Dorothy would love to lead the bunch in a sing along.

Isn't it great how we folks from Eunice can make a real night to remember out of a plain ol' night out???? The world could take a lesson from us !!!!

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Lynda, I am really hurt. Who says hot pink clashes with red? Hot pink seems like a terrific Valentine color to me. Sniff! Sniff!

LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Oh Bev, I did not mean to hurt your feelings but I gathered you would rather have a friend hurt them instead of a stranger, and after all what are friends for? hehehe

I intend to wear a red and white checked dress, with red socks ( lace trimmed) and cute little Mary Janes. The dress of course will have red and white bows on it. Do you think a perky little hat would be too much???

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Oh Lynda, that sounds perfect. Will you help me pick out a dress? I wonder if I can find some gold pixie shoes with little gold coins dangling.

DEB GLOVER 1974 : You guys are making my head spin!!!! Hot pink chiffon.... red and white checks????????? How about a Lady Godiva wig and a nude colored bodysuit for me????? Would that be classy or what? (Be Nice!)

FRED TUCKER 1960: Deb, Why the bodysuit?????

GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:

The Management and Staff of RKC reminds everyone of our long standing dress policy which is in effect even on our special occasions. Our wait staff will be dressed in conventional tux jackets and cutoffs with awl field boots. Female customers should dress accordingly so as not to inflame the passions of our clientele. Men are also requested to refrain from spitting chewing tabaccy on the floor and dancin' will be limited to one lady per dance. No Paul Jones! Please conduct yourselves in a reserved and courteous manner at all times. Our friendly, but firm, security personnel "Bubba" Twoton will enforce civility. Also plan to cover all tatoos, body piercing, or other similiar disgusting and faddish exhibits. Our French chef Andre LePew is quite sensitive to these matters.Thank you for your cooperation. The Road Kill CafeWhere Bon Apetite is just a throw away line.

DEB GLOVER 1974: So, no Lady Godiva Deb....? Oh well... guess I could put on a dress... but can I keep the wig? Just being modest, Fred... but looks like Glenn wouldn't let me in the door as Lady Godiva Deb.... oh well....

LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Bev, I will gladly help you pick out a dress but I'm afraid the pixie shoes will not be found. I had a pair in nearly every color years ago. If we really tried we could probably make ourselves a pair of them. Ok, now for your dress !! I was thinking of something along the lines of a hot little red number with just a hint of feathers along the neckline. Oh, a pair of red pixie shoes would look so cool with it but if we cannot find the pixies I think a pair of white 4 inch spiked heels would do. You might have to limit your dancing to 3 minutes at a time due to the thin air at that height, but I think you could handle it. A cute little red shoulder purse and some feather earrings would top the outfit off. You will be the belle of the ball. That is if Deb wears something other than a wig. ROTFL Remember girls, whatever we wear we must wear it with class and good taste. After all we would not want anyone from Eunice to be ashamed of us .

LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Fred, I think the proper attire for the evening for you would be a "caveman suit"...hehehe Oh yes, don't forget the cowboy boots as there will be dancing.

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Lynda, I am not sure about the shoes. I am already 5'9". I am afraid that those heels might put me in the Nosebleed Zone. I have to tell you this. A few weeks ago I saw a genuine pair of pixie shoes from the 50s. Don's caregiver is a retired nurse. We were talking one day as I was heading out the door to work. I glanced down at the floor and on her feet were the genuine article-PIXIE SHOES! I asked her where in the world had she found those. They are the real thing and she has had them since the 50s. She laughed as she raised the bottom and showed me where she used duct tape to hold the soles together! LOL I am glad that Glenn clarified the strict dress code. I wouldn't want to be embarrassed by being turned away at the door. However, I was shocked at what Deb suggested she might wear. You know those younger folks! JUST WILD AREN'T THEY? Hope the tattoo and body piercing code doesn't keep her away. LOL

GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:

All right, all right, all right! Wear your Pixie shoes and Lady Godiva rigs if you insist. It may look like the night of the weirdos. Wigs OK, too. But no men in drag! Remember it's a Valentine's Day party. Now I guess I'll have to get out my Rudolph Valentino outfit. (Get it?)Ah, well, whatever makes the customers happy!

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Rudolph Valentino outfit???? Huh? LOL Thank you Glenn. We promise to keep it in fairly good taste. I still think that my hot pink chiffon dress would be just the thing, but I guess Lynda knows best. You did know that Nilnik has passed Paris by and become the fashion capital of the world didn't you?

GLENN ELLIOTT 1951: Yes, I was aware that Ninilchik passed Paris as haute coutour capital of the world. All the big time models are moving there and driving up the real estate market. There's even talk of adding new zip codes and maybe building a new post office!

LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Hi Bev, I would give anything to have a pair of those pixies again. I had not thought of them in years. They were sooooo comfortable!!!! I think we could fix Deb up to be presentable with a few of your feathers and my bows but bring some of that duck tape just in case. hehehe With my highest heels on I would not come anywhere near 5'9". LOL Do you think Glenn will have a fine wine for the ordering??? You know, some of that pretty red wine that comes in those huge green bottles? The kind that runs about a buck fifteen a gallon....ROTFLWTIME

GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:

YES! The wine, of course! Naturally we'll have the famous Le Oifield Vineyards de Eunice, vintage l999, in the big green bottle with the screw-off cap. The new cap makes it easy to re-cap and take it home for next year.I am reminded too, that the Poetry Reading Club, has asked to attend and give a few readings during the night. They are noted for fascinating prose having to do with critter crunching and coyote chasing. Resident poet laureate, Harley Davison, will chair the event. His work: "Hogs ain't Dogs" will be reviewed.

LYNDA RAGAN 1960: Glenn, This is shaping up to be the "event" of the year. I am so glad you have decided on some of the local wine for our dining pleasure ! And if we do not like the entertainment we can always throw those big bottles at them..hehehehe We are driving to Eunice for this event so many of us may be able to supply a fresh source of menu items. ( Hot off the grill, so to speak. lol) I think Bev and I have our attire picked out, now to get that Deb covered up. ROTFLWTIME Fred has not commented on his attire that I picked out for him. He has been mighty quiet, which makes me nervous!!!

FRED TUCKER 1960: Bev, That sounds grreat to me, but to keep Lynda happy I will have to wear my cockroach slippers too. Im sure they may come in quite handy at the big blow out.

GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:

I concur that Fred with his cockroach slippers as Cupid is an appropriate and welcomed guest. However, it should be noted, that at the RKC we have resident roaches le'cok in large quantities competing for left-over morsels. They might try to mate with his shoes. (Had a poodle like that once). He might be dancin' with more than he can handle!

DEB GLOVER 1974: I just can't stand the thought of not wearing that wig... after all, I paid $9.95 for it at the Halloween shop.... I sure wish I knew what these pixie shoes looked like... I can only remember back to penny loafers... the only thing that I have that could even closely resemble 'tatoos' are my stretch marks...lol and those have faded... besides the body suit should cover them adequately and what it doesn't cover, the wig will... so there! Oh, and no body piercing... that is the even 'younger' crowd...hehehe

DEB GLOVER 1974 : Feathers....???? Bows....???? Now the Duct tape I could consider...lol

JERRY PHILLIPS 1964: TONETTES ! Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh !

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Annie, Are you coming to the Virtual Valentine Party at Glenn's RKC? What are you going to wear? I can hardly wait to see!

ANN BERTRAND 1954: Bev, I don't have a pair of 'Pixie' shoes---yet but do have a pair of ballerinas'. That should be close enough!.....LOL..... My poodle skirt is a little ragged but.........

GLENN ELLIOTT 1951:

Only two stools left to be reserved for the big RKC Valentine Blowout Party! "Bubbles", Bubba, Andre' and the entire staff are eagerly anticipating out virtual visitors from all over the country. We're stocked up on champagne from the Hobbs vintners and brought in pink candles for the tables. Boxes of Gump chocolates will be available. In addition to our strolling fiddles and tonettes we'll have a real cupid shooting arrows at our guests. If you haven't made your reservations now's the time! The Road Kill Cafe -- Where you bring 'em and we'll fry 'em.

ANN BERTRAND 1954: Glenn, You can count on me being there so reserve that stool for me. Better yet, hold both of em as I just might have a date for the occasion!!??!?? How about the pixie shoes? Was there a pair of size 8 1/2's???? Hint,hint, pant, pant....

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Deb, I am borrowing Fred's "jet" to get to the big Valentine's Day Blowout. I will fly by El Paso and pick you up around 7 p.m. so be ready. I even found an extra pair of pixie shoes to complete your ensemble. Doubt you even know what they are, but believe me they are the coolest shoes ever. I wonder who else will be there. Hey everyone, let us know if you are coming and what you are going to wear. If you are brining your own food, let us know what you plan to hit er I mean bring.

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: Annie, I thought you would still be in Vegas. Are you going to make it to the big party? If you really won big, we expect you to pick up the tab.

DEB GLOVER 1974: ( Aren't pixie shoes those that have the little bow on top? Sounds like they would go well with my nude colored body suit and of course my long flowing blonde tresses...:-) Are you flying the plane? (I'll bring some fairy dust just in case we need it, lol)

BEVERLY HARVEY 1967: No Deb, no bows. GEEEEEZ you young folks just don't know "nuttin." Pixie shoes have a point that sticks straight up at the toe-like pixies you know. Guess I am going to have to take you under my wing and teach you about important stuff like pixie shoes.